Before the Leap: Making Space for Transformative Shifts
The anatomy of change, and why making space—not just plans—is the real beginning of transformation.
As summer kicks into gear, my neighborhood comes alive with graduation parties, swim meets, and the gleeful squeals of kids eating their third popsicle of the day. It’s the season of sticky fingers and the smell of sunscreen, and it has me thinking about change.
Lately, I’ve been listening to beach friendly music, sleeping deeper, and using the extra energy to clean corners of my home that have collected dust since winter. Maybe it’s just the sunshine, but something feels different — like a collective exhale is making space for what’s next.
And so begins this three-part series on Transitions — an exploration of the science of change and how we can move through it with more clarity and intention.
As a psychologist who’s navigated a fair share of personal and professional transitions, I’ve analyzed, refined, and reveled in how I approach change. These are the patterns I’ve seen, both in others and in myself, time and again.
What Transition Looks Like
Change comes in many forms, but for the sake of clarity, I’m grouping it into three buckets:
Transformative Shifts – big, defining changes like starting a new job, having a baby, or moving across the country.
Natural Rhythms – the seasonal, cyclical transitions we often overlook but can learn to work with (more on that in Part 2).
Tiny Transitions – the small, everyday shifts in focus, mood, and energy that shape our lives moment by moment (coming in Part 3).
Each of these operates at a different scale, but they all share one thing: they move us forward. As the Greek philosopher Heraclitus so quotably noted, “the only constant is change.”
The Anatomy of Change
Before we dive into the big life shifts, let’s look at what change actually involves.
Kurt Lewin’s classic 3-stage model breaks it down like this:
Unfreeze – disrupt the status quo.
Change – implement new behaviors or systems.
Freeze – stabilize the new normal.
It’s a simple model, and that’s part of its power. But change doesn’t just happen on the outside — it starts internally. That’s where the Transtheoretical Model (TTM) adds depth, especially around individual readiness. Commonly applied in health and fitness contexts, its five stages — Precontemplation, Contemplation, Preparation, Action, and Maintenance — map out the emotional and psychological shifts that must happen to enable lasting behavior change (scroll down for a deeper dive). This framework is particularly valuable when considering behavioral shifts from harmful (or non-supportive) behaviors to healthy (or more productive) behaviors. It highlights the simple truth that people don’t change unless they want to.
So here’s the hybrid I use:
As you Unfreeze, remember that how ready someone is to change determines how smooth or sustainable the transition will be. The deeper the readiness, the stronger the outcome.
Transformative Shifts: The bigger the shift, the more energy required
Let’s talk about the big ones. Transformative shifts are the obvious turning points — a graduation, a wedding, a divorce, a cross-country move, a new role, or a career pivot. These transitions often come with celebration or crisis. They’re thrilling, exhausting, and substantial.
Sometimes, the timing is set for us — your baby will arrive, ready or not. Your child leaves for college in August, and that’s that. But sometimes we initiate these shifts ourselves: starting a business, relocating for a fresh start, ending a relationship that no longer works.
Either way, the most overlooked part is what comes before the change. That’s the Unfreeze stage. And it matters more than people think.
Tip 1: Savor What You’re Leaving Behind
We’re wired to focus on what’s ahead — the new apartment, the exciting role, the clean slate. But every new chapter begins with an ending. And every ending deserves its moment.
Before you move on, name what you’re letting go of. It might be structure, identity, familiarity, or relationships. Acknowledge the grief. Savor the good stuff. Say goodbye with intention.
If you’re graduating, resist the urge to bounce from party to party. Sit with the fact that this chapter — and version of you — is closing.
If you’re switching jobs, reflect on what you’ve learned and what you’re choosing not to carry forward.
If you're preparing for parenthood, take quiet moments to appreciate the current rhythms of your life.
The more consciously you leave, the more fully you’ll arrive.
Tip 2: Slow Down and Make Space
Big shifts can tempt us to power through — start the new job Monday, finish packing the night before the move, keep “doing” instead of feeling.
But real transformation needs space. Mental space. Emotional space. Even physical space.
If you can swing it, take a buffer between the old and the new. A few days. A long weekend. Even just one unscheduled afternoon.
It’s not just about rest — it’s about clearing noise so you can tune into what matters. When we rush, we bring clutter with us. When we pause, we choose what comes next.
If you’re starting a new fitness routine, begin waking up earlier before the program begins.
If you’re moving homes, take time to pack slowly, reflectively.
If you’re preparing for a life change like parenthood or marriage, create intentional stillness before the whirlwind.
Tip 3: Reconnect with Your Values
Big changes often happen because we’re trying to get closer to something we care about — family, purpose, health, freedom. But in the chaos, it’s easy to lose that thread.
Before locking into a new identity or routine, pause to ask:
What do I really want from this next chapter?
What values am I trying to live out?
How can I keep these values visible in the way I structure my time, space, and relationships?
You don’t need a full strategic plan. You just need to be in touch with your why.
Journal. Meditate. Talk with the people who know you best. Reconnect to what makes you feel like you.
Put it in Practice: Preparing for a Promotion
The concept of “unfreezing” comes up often in my work with leaders navigating major role changes — a big promotion, a reorganization, or the shift that comes with leading at a new level. In these moments, I often encourage a “go slow to go fast” approach. Before jumping into action, it’s essential to create space to pause, reflect, and recalibrate.
One of the most powerful tools in this process is accepting Marshall Goldsmith’s famous insight: “What got you here won’t get you there.” That means taking a thoughtful inventory of the skills, habits, and mindsets that served you well in your previous role — and honestly assessing which of them might need to evolve.
Maybe you’ve prided yourself on meticulous attention to detail, the ability to jump in and solve problems for your team, or the freedom to structure your work independently. But stepping into a higher-level role may call for something different: zooming out to see the bigger picture, delegating with trust, and creating space for others to lead.
This kind of shift doesn’t just happen on the org chart — it happens internally first. That’s the Unfreeze stage in action.
If you're preparing for a new phase in your leadership journey, try this reflection exercise:
What am I letting go of? What identity, routine, or skill set am I releasing — and what kind of mourning might that require?
How can I make emotional, mental, and physical space for what’s next? What boundaries or buffers will help me show up with clarity?
What values am I bringing into this next chapter? How will I keep them visible in how I lead, communicate, and make decisions?
The leaders who transition with intention don’t just take on a new title — they build the internal infrastructure to support who they’re becoming. That foundation is what allows them to lead with clarity and capacity on the other side.
Coming Up Next: Natural Rhythms
Not all transitions are seismic. Some are soft, cyclical, and predictable — like seasons, school years, and Sunday nights. In the next post, we’ll explore how to work with these natural rhythms instead of against them.
Until then, if you’re on the cusp of a big shift, honor where you are. Let yourself Unfreeze. Let yourself unpack it. Make space, and get rooted in what matters. The future can wait a minute — you’re becoming someone new.
Foster Insights helps leaders clear the path for meaningful change—whether through personal or organizational development. Want to create space for something better? Let’s talk.
